Have you been watching Celebrity Traitors season two? I have, and I love it. So much so that it’s inspired me to create these Celebrity Traitors Christmas cards.
You could say I’m a bit of a superfan. The normal version is great, but the celebrity version is much better in my opinion—much funnier. Watching celebrities struggle to lie, randomly accuse each other and get caught up in all the nonsense is brilliant. And the meme potential is unbelievable.
And then there’s Claudia, immaculate and iconic in all her winter fashions, watching the whole thing unravel. Brilliant.
So I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring and draw a few Celebrity Traitors-inspired Christmas cards. Betrayal, suspicious looks and people defending someone who’s practically still holding the murder weapon. Lovely bit of festive inspiration. Let’s have a look.
There are 12 designs to choose from, featuring Maya Jama, James Acaster, Michael Sheen, King Kenny, Ross Kemp, Joanne McNally, James Blunt, Jerry Hall and Romesh Ranganathan.
Each physical card costs £4 and comes with an envelope. It’s professionally printed on sustainably sourced, eco-friendly paper. If you’d like me to handwrite a message inside and post it straight to someone, the handwriting is included in the price.
Maya Jama Christmas card — Maya days be merry and bright
Maya Jama has turned out to be a really great traitor. Lies roll off her tongue like she’s telling you what she had for breakfast. Absolutely effortless.
Maya Jama wears a Traitors cloak and holds a glowing lantern in this Christmas card, featuring the words: “MAYA DAYS BE MERRY AND BRIGHT.”
A bit of festive optimism from someone dressed for betrayal. It’s a Christmas card that says, “I saw this and thought of you”—especially for the friend you watch the show with.
Shop the Maya Jama Christmas card:
Maya Jama Traitor’s Christmas card
James Acaster Christmas card — Started lying
James Acaster wanted to be a Faithful. Nice, straightforward, no lying required. Naturally, they recruited him almost immediately. He’s awkward, a bit geeky and incredibly funny, but he’s turned out to be a surprisingly good Traitor. Still pottering about like an innocent man who’s wandered into the wrong meeting.
James Acaster wears a Christmas hat, handling festive betrayal about as well as you’d expect. This card reads: “STARTED LYING. HAD A BREAKDOWN. MERRY CHRISTMAS.”
For a James Acaster fan or your Traitors-watching mate. A Christmas card for anyone who couldn’t keep a secret without needing a little sit-down afterwards.
Shop the James Acaster started lying Christmas card:
James Acaster Traitor’s Christmas card
James Acaster Christmas card — Dear Santa
James Acaster writes a note to Santa in this Christmas card, featuring the words: “DEAR SANTA, I’VE BEEN GOOD ALL YEAR. APART FROM THE MURDERS.”
An honest confession with one fairly significant exception. Perfect for a James Acaster fan—or the mate who reckons they’ve behaved impeccably, provided you overlook a few incidents.
Shop the James Acaster Dear Santa Christmas card:
James Acaster Traitor’s Christmas card
Michael Sheen Christmas card — Someone’s framed him
Michael Sheen’s a shrewd bloke. You can practically hear the cogs turning, though the answer keeps coming out slightly wrong. He knows that saying too much could get him murdered, so he’s keeping his cards close to his chest. Trouble is, his inner Poirot would quite like five minutes with a flip chart.
Michael Sheen wears a Santa hat as he unwraps a rather questionable Christmas present: a framed portrait of himself with a big red X across it. This card reads: “HAPPY CHRISTMAS. MICHAEL OPENED HIS PRESENTS. SOMEONE’S FRAMED HIM.”
Perfect for a Michael Sheen fan, because nothing says festive goodwill like a gift-wrapped betrayal.
Shop the Michael Sheen framed Christmas card:
Michael Sheen Traitor’s Christmas card
Michael Sheen Christmas card — A mince pie and an alibi
Michael Sheen wears a Santa hat and lovingly cradles a mince pie in both hands—as though buttery pastry could prove his innocence. This card reads: “HAPPY CHRISTMAS. BRING A MINCE PIE AND AN ALIBI.”
Turning up with festive treats is lovely, but it doesn’t rule you out as a suspect.
Shop the Michael Sheen mince pie Christmas card:
Michael Sheen Traitor’s Christmas card
King Kenny Christmas card
King Kenny was over the moon to be chosen as a Traitor. It’s exactly what he wanted, and he’s taken to it a little too comfortably. The lies come easily, he’s convincing, and for a long time nobody suspected a thing.
King Kenny wears a Santa hat in this Christmas card, featuring the words: “GOOD KING KENNY LAST LOOKED OUT… FOR ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.”
A festive twist on Good King Wenceslas, with considerably less goodwill. This card is perfect for a King Kenny fan, a Beta Squad follower or any Traitors-watching fan you might know.
Shop the King Kenny Christmas card:
King Kenny Traitor’s Christmas card
Ross Kemp Christmas card
Ross Kemp was brilliant. A man who looked like he’d interrogate a mince pie if it gave him a funny look. His complaint about being used like a donkey was a gift, frankly. That’s the Christmas card sorted.
Wearing a captain’s hat, Ross Kemp rides a donkey in this Christmas card, featuring the words: “HAPPY XMAS. NO ROOM AT THE INN? TRY TELLING GRANT MITCHELL.”
A cheeky nod to his donkey remark and his famously intimidating EastEnders character. Perfect for a Ross Kemp fan or your Traitors-watching mate—because the nativity’s about to get a room, whether the innkeeper likes it or not.
Shop the Ross Kemp Christmas card:
Ross Kemp Traitor’s Christmas card
Joanne McNally Christmas card
Joanne McNally doesn’t hold back. If she thinks it, you’re going to hear it. Excellent for stirring the pot on Celebrity Traitors. She accuses other people of stirring, but frankly, she’s standing there with the biggest spoon. I wouldn’t want to mess with her, that’s for sure.
Joanne McNally holds a hefty naughty list in this Christmas card, featuring the words: “HAPPY CHRISTMAS. JOANNE’S CHECKED THE NAUGHTY LIST. DEFENDED EVERYONE ON IT.”
Perfect for the mate who always sees the best in people—even when the evidence suggests they really should stop.
Shop the Joanne McNally Christmas card:
Joanne McNally Traitor’s Christmas card
James Blunt Christmas card
I’m not sure where James Blunt got all his tracksuits, but he looks like Action Man auditioning for the next Royal Tenenbaums film. Quite iconic, really. He’s a funny bloke—very posh, very orderly, very military. You get the feeling he’s got a timetable for putting his headband on.
James Blunt wears an ’80s tracksuit in this Christmas card, featuring the words: “HAPPY CHRISTMAS. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL BUT YOU’RE STILL ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!”
A cheeky nod to his famous song and retro sportswear. Perfect for a James Blunt fan—or someone who thinks being gorgeous lets them get away with absolutely everything.
Shop the James Blunt Christmas card:
James Blunt Traitor’s Christmas card
Jerry Hall Christmas card
Poor Jerry. Being an icon doesn’t get you very far in Celebrity Traitors, apparently. She was chaotic, wonderfully random and exactly what this series needed. Such a shame she went so early—the things that came out of her mouth were the gift that kept on giving. Marvellous.
Jerry Hall holds a bottle of sherry in one hand and a lipstick up to her face in the other. This Christmas card reads: “LIPSTICK AFTER MIDNIGHT? TRAITOR. SIX SHERRIES BEFORE LUNCH? FAITHFUL.”
A festive take on some wonderfully questionable detective work. Perfect for a Jerry Hall fan—or the mate who thinks Christmas lunch starts with a sherry.
Shop the Jerry Hall Christmas card:
Jerry Hall Traitor’s Christmas card
Romesh Ranganathan Christmas card — The naughty list
What can you say about Romesh? So deadpan you’d never know if he was lying—which he isn’t. He’s got a poker face that gives absolutely nothing away. I think he’d have made an amazing Traitor. No one’s even looking at him.
Romesh Ranganathan wears a Santa hat, looking like Christmas has already taken its toll. This card reads: “I’M ON THE NAUGHTY LIST. APPARENTLY, LOOKING TIRED IS EVIDENCE.”
A festive nod to suspicious looks and wildly questionable detective work. Perfect for a Romesh fan, your Traitors-watching mate or anyone whose resting face apparently warrants a round-table discussion.
Shop the Romesh Ranganathan naughty list Christmas card:
Romesh Ranganathan Traitor’s Christmas card
Romesh Ranganathan Christmas card — Keep the receipt
Romesh used to be a maths teacher for about nine years. You’d think a simple puzzle wouldn’t be beyond him. But no. And quite rightly, we’re going to hold his feet to the fire for that.
This Romesh Ranganathan Christmas card features the words: “MERRY CHRISTMAS, ROMESH. WE GOT YOU A PUZZLE. KEEP THE RECEIPT.”
A cheeky dig at his puzzle-solving performance. Perfect for a Romesh fan—or the mate who insists they’re brilliant at puzzles, then spends Boxing Day arguing with the instructions.
Shop the Romesh Ranganathan puzzle Christmas card:
Romesh Ranganathan Traitor’s Christmas card
Frequently asked questions
Can these Celebrity Traitors Christmas cards be personalised?
The artwork and wording on the front are fixed and can’t be personalised. However, I can handwrite your message inside and post the card directly to the recipient. Handwriting is included in the £4 price.
Select the option to send it to a recipient and enter your message before ordering. You have up to 250 characters, including the sender’s name, so remember to say who it’s from.
Use the recipient’s address as the delivery address at checkout, with your own email and billing details. If you’d prefer to write the card yourself, choose the option to have it sent to you with the inside left blank.
What size are the cards, and how are they printed?
Each card features my original illustration, measures approximately 7 × 5 inches (178 × 127mm) and comes with a brown kraft envelope.
The cards are printed on 280gsm Fedrigoni card with a glossy finish, using HP Indigo digital printing and water-based inks. The paper is sustainably sourced, and the cards are vegan-friendly, contain no animal products and are recyclable.
Both the product and packaging are plastic-free. Cards are posted in highly opaque postal envelopes.
Can I request a different celebrity or moment?
If you don’t see what you’re after, get in touch with your idea as early as possible. I might be able to create a new design in time.
I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my best to help—especially if there’s a good joke in it.
Is it a printed card or a digital download?
These are physical printed Christmas cards, each supplied with an envelope.
If you’d prefer a digital download, get in touch through my contact page. I can arrange one for you and will reply as soon as I can.
How soon will you post my card?
I currently have all designs in stock, so I’ll post your card the same day you order. After that, delivery time depends on the postage option you choose and Royal Mail.
Royal Mail provides estimated delivery times, but I can’t guarantee when your card will arrive. What I can guarantee is that I’ll post it the same day.
Will my card arrive before Christmas?
Please order early to give your card the best chance of arriving in time. The available Royal Mail services and their prices are shown at checkout.
Check Royal Mail’s latest recommended Christmas posting dates and allow extra time for the festive rush. Delivery estimates aren’t guarantees, and I can’t guarantee arrival before Christmas.
If you’ve enjoyed these cards, pop over to my Instagram, where I’ve been animating a few ideas as the show unfolds. I’m not an animator, which becomes apparent fairly quickly, but everyone’s moving and nobody’s lost a limb. I’m counting that as a success. See you over there. Bye.
https://www.instagram.com/itsmesimonok/
Written by Simon Stratford, type designer and graphic designer. These are my opinions, reached after too little sleep and too much coffee. You can also follow my antics on @itsmesimonok, or leave a comment below. Despite all the opinions, I’m actually quite nice.