Funny Christmas Cards for Ross Kemp Fans

Ross Kemp on Celebrity Traitors is an extraordinary bit of casting. He’s spent years looking unflappable in situations where I’d be hiding behind the sofa. Put him in a castle full of suspicious celebrities and he somehow looks even more determined.

Then came the donkey business. Once you’ve heard Ross complain about being used like a donkey, it’s difficult not to picture him in the Christmas nativity. So I drew exactly that. There are worse ways to spend an afternoon. Though I’m not sure the donkey would agree.

Ross Kemp Christmas Card: No Room at the Inn?

“HAPPY XMAS. NO ROOM AT THE INN? TRY TELLING ROSS KEMP!”

My illustration has Ross riding a donkey and saluting as though he’s been sent to sort out the accommodation arrangements in Bethlehem. You can almost hear the innkeeper reconsidering his position.

See the Ross Kemp Celebrity Traitors Christmas card.

A Funny Christmas Card for Ross Kemp Fans

For Ross Kemp fans and anyone who enjoys a nativity taking an unexpected turn. I’d like to apologise to the donkey. It didn’t sign up for this.

Each card features my own original illustration. It’s a physical printed 7 × 5-inch Christmas card, professionally printed on glossy 280gsm card and supplied with a brown kraft envelope.

Each printed card costs £4. I can send it to you to write yourself, or handwrite your message inside and post it directly to the recipient. Handwriting is included in the price.

These are unofficial, independently illustrated fan cards inspired by the programme, not official merchandise.

Printable Christmas Card Downloads on Etsy

Prefer to print your own? These digital downloads are separate from the physical printed cards. You’ll need your own paper, printer and envelope.

Download Ross Kemp: No Room at the Inn? on Etsy.

Written and illustrated by Simon Stratford, independent type designer and illustrator. Follow the drawings and occasional animations on Instagram @itsmesimonok.