King Kenny. What an absolute revelation he's been on Celebrity Traitors season two. I'll admit, I didn't know much about him before the programme. In fact, I knew absolutely nothing about him. His real name is Kenny Oghenovo Ojuederie, and all I know now is that he's a YouTuber and used to be a boxer. But that's about it. Now I'm a fan. The guy's brilliant.
When King Kenny was recruited as a Traitor, he looked like he'd just won the lottery. I've never seen someone so overjoyed. He wanted to be a Traitor, and he was absolutely delighted when he finally got the chance.
Unlike James Acaster, who was wandering around looking as though a ten-pound note had fallen out of his pocket.
And Kenny's taken to it like a duck to water.
I think Kenny might be a possible winner. I think this year the Traitors are going to win. I mean, this is someone who was supposed to be one of the good guys. Then he gets invited into the turret, finds out he can start murdering people, and suddenly it's the best day of his life.
The thing is, he's actually very convincing. He lies with extraordinary confidence, looks perfectly comfortable doing it, and somehow manages to avoid attracting suspicion. It's almost worrying how naturally it comes to him.
I wouldn't trust him with a packet of biscuits, let alone a hundred grand.
Naturally, I decided to make him a Christmas card.
King Kenny Christmas Card: Good King Kenny Last Looked Out
“GOOD KING KENNY LAST LOOKED OUT… FOR ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.”
Yes, I've taken Good King Wenceslas, a traditional Christmas carol about generosity and kindness, and turned it into a festive tribute to a man who's been secretly plotting people's murders on national television.
Christmas spirit. Lovely stuff.
For my illustration, I've given King Kenny a suitably royal appearance, complete with crown and cloak. He's looking rather pleased with himself, which seems entirely appropriate for someone who's discovered that being a Traitor is considerably more entertaining than being a Faithful.
The joke practically wrote itself. Good King Wenceslas looked out for the poor and needy. King Kenny? He's looking out for King Kenny.
And probably checking who's next on the murder list.
A Funny Christmas Card for King Kenny Fans
If you've got a friend who loves King Kenny, follows the Beta Squad on YouTube or has become completely obsessed with Celebrity Traitors, this might be the perfect Christmas card for them.
It's my own original illustration, professionally printed as a physical 7 × 5-inch Christmas card with a glossy finish and a brown kraft envelope.
Each Christmas card costs £4.
You can order one to write yourself, or I can handwrite your message inside and post it directly to the recipient. The handwriting is included in the price.
See the King Kenny Celebrity Traitors Christmas card.
And if King Kenny isn't your favourite suspect, I've also illustrated Maya Jama, James Acaster, Romesh Ranganathan, Michael Sheen and several other familiar faces from the castle.
View all my Celebrity Traitors Christmas cards.
These are my own unofficial, independently illustrated Christmas cards inspired by the programme.
Written by Simon Stratford, type designer and graphic designer. These are my opinions, reached after too little sleep and too much coffee. You can also follow my antics on @itsmesimonok, or leave a comment below. Despite all the opinions, I’m actually quite nice.